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“My Wife Won’t Kiss Me!”

How To Kiss Your Wife Again When She Won’t Kiss You Back

… to be intimate with him, but even telling him during the day that she desired him went against all her cultural programming about being a “good girl.”

She needed Ted to initiate, to move her from neutral to turned on, so she could relax and enjoy closeness with him. It didn’t feel right to her to both tell him she desired him AND initiate.

So night after night, they left opportunity on the table that could have resulted in passion and pleasure.

If they had followed their thoughts to the core, had the courage to ask and speak from “vulnerability,” their intimacy would have increased.

What To Ask Your Wife (About Kissing)

  • State your love for her.
  • State your desire to have a delightful intimate life with her.
  • Tell her you desire to kiss her.
  • Ask her what her beliefs and fears are about kissing you and why she no longer wants to.
  • Ask her to be specific.

 
Tell her you promise not to take it personally. (Remember, she might feel that way in general, it is not ALL ABOUT YOU, it’s about her experiences, beliefs and fears.) Be a man and handle the information without taking it personally, or she won’t trust that she can tell you her truth and you will shut her down.

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Put your full attention on her and sit with her and touch her while she’s telling you. Be very patient. Keep asking her, “What else? Is that all?”

Explain that you want to find a path to having her desire you in this way again and you will think about all she’s said.

Thank her for being vulnerable and for telling you her truth. Tell her you love and appreciate her and are going to spend some time digesting the feedback.

Give yourself at least 48 hours and up to a week to respond to her. Take the time to think about all she’s said.

Once you understand her objections, you can later educate her about your perspective, remove obstacles that block her, find compromises and…

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— Susan Bratton wants to help you enjoy more intimacy and pleasure. She champions men’s rights for shame-free sexuality and creates tools and techniques that help men open intimately to their partners for more passion.

 

Susan is the co-founder and CEO of Personal Life Media, an online publishing company specializing in heart-centered adult sexual education home study programs. She’s the creator of Revive Her Drive, an online course that helps men lead their wives and girlfriends back to more a more passionate relationship.

An internationally renowned author, publisher and speaker, Susan has won awards for her work and been featured in print, online and television in media outlets as wide-ranging as the New York Times, CNBC and Playboy radio.  Susan works with her husband, Tim, providing online home study programs for men and couples who want more intimacy and connection. She lives in Mill Valley, California.

Discover How To Pull Your Wife Closer!

Pull Your Wife Closer

Without Risk Of Rejection

With These 10 Stealth Romance Techniques

One Odd Trick You Can Use Tonight To Romance Her Again

“How Can I Be More Romantic?”

How To Romance Your Wife All Over Again Part 1

Romancing your partner is a gift you give yourself too. Keeping score is fruitless — love is immeasurable. And it doesn’t matter if, at first, you do “all the work” of romancing her. Keep at it and soon she will be romancing you back…

FIND OUT WHAT’S IN HER HEART

“When we can speak from these vulnerable core places, we are more likely to work through conflict and feel intimate.”

“When trying to solve a problem or work through a situation, let yourself hear all your thoughts and feelings. Don’t censor anything. Often people have important thoughts they dismiss because they don’t seem relevant or because they seem contradictory. Say or write down everything until you feel a sense of being cleared out. Sometimes if you sit for a minute longer, deeper thoughts will come to mind. This is your inner world speaking to you.”

“One way to gain access to our deeper thoughts is to put our focus in the area of our heart, and breathe into it. You can imagine the area softening and becoming spacious. You might want to touch the area over your heart and keep your focus there as you listen. Imagine that you are putting your problem or concern in your heart with kindness and compassion. Then follow your thoughts deeper and deeper. In this way you will find your truths.” — Excerpted from, “A Home for the Heart: Creating Intimacy and Community with Loved Ones, Neighbors and Friends,”

by Charlotte Sophia Kasl, Ph.D.