You can easily have more emotional and physical intimacy in your marriage starting today if you understand this: The way your partner most enjoys receiving intimacy is likely very different from the way you prefer to be emotionally close and physically affectionate.

The Bottom Line

Provide the kind of intimacy that your wife prefers and tell her exactly what you like and start giving that to each other instead of trying to give what you want to get. I know you’ve probably heard of the “Golden Rule” (to treat others as you’d like to be treated) but when it comes to intimacy it’s just not a good idea!

The lack (or loss) of intimacy is almost always because you’re not getting what feels like the “right” kind of intimacy for your personal tastes and desires. Let me repeat this, because it’s that important… Just because you don’t feel like you are getting the “right” kind of intimacy, doesn’t mean your wife knows that. She may think you are loving what she offers you!

It’s entirely possible your spouse is missing her preferred styles of intimate connection too. This misunderstanding creates the dissonance that begins to drive a wedge through your intimacy.

The longer you go without this physical and emotional closeness the easier it becomes just to live without it and shut down on each other. You might already been in that place right now. Where you’ve all but given up. But no matter how closed off your partnership has become, I have a high-degree of confidence your woman is dying inside for some affection, appreciation and attention… just like you are.